I held my 10 rand (A little over a dollar) tightly in my hand.. I couldn’t figure out why I didn’t just give it to him. I’d never had trouble giving a little bit of money to someone before and this was only 10 rand.. but the Lord put something in my spirit to stop me.
“Can we pray for you?”
All of a sudden, the poor man that had just approached us after getting off the bus, talkative and begging for money, had a completely different spirit about him.
I mean he was COVERED in shame, immediately. It was so called out and evident on him. He didn’t respond and just looked down for MINUTES. His body language screamed shame. There was so much conviction. He looked up and the Lord just told me to smile at him gently, to speak spirit to spirit. (It’s crazy how easy it is to discern the Lord’s voice in a situation like this.) His eyes never left mine; they were deep. I could read him.. He had such a desire to be searched, to be saved.. but he was so afraid.
Minutes more passed and I just kept speaking with my eyes. I just pushed out grace through them, hoping it was just flowing over his spirit.
Finally, my teammate Andrew decided it was time for an answer and let out a, “So does that mean…?”
And finally those eyes gave in, and he decided with a gentle shame-filled nod that he wanted it.
So we began to pray. The Lord filled the prayer with words and visions and encouragement from Him. Jesus revealed to us the trials of this man’s heart; so burdened, so desperate. We spoke truth and life into him.. what got him most was when Jesus told him through Nikki that he was seen. She told him that no matter what he’s done or was going to do, the Lord sees him and loves him.
This man was not forgotten, that’s the truth.
After the spirit filled prayer the man was in shock. He asked, “Who sent me this way?!”
We told him with a smirk and a giggle (because the Lord is just so faithful) that God had sent him our way.
He looked at us and said, “I have cigarettes in my hat, I have change in my pocket… do you know what I was about to go do?”
Kristen let out a guess of, “Drugs and drinking?”
That’s when we all just smiled again (no we weren’t one bit shocked about what he was about to od before God sent him our way) and looked at each other, we reminded him again that he is seen and loved, and forgiven, and that it was 110% Jesus who had sent us there (we reminded him the twenty more times he asked, too).
It really was Jesus, because Nikki and I had been roaming aimlessly around trying to find an open restaurant to sit in for about 40 minutes and all of them closed on us (at 4 pm in a tourist area on a Saturday?!) so we decided to go by Kristen, and Andrew and Kevin showed up too after not having any place to go. It was Jesus that sent us there. Jesus that pushed us restaurant to restaurant closer to where our divine appointment would be. Jesus that made him walk off that bus and roam into our direction when he wouldn’t have chosen that way originally. It was Jesus telling his child that he is seen, that he’s forgiven. It was Jesus that kept me from just giving the man 10 rand and calling it a day, and letting a brother fall farther from God because I took the "easy" road out.
It was Jesus that kept that man there for a while to tell him about grace and the love of God. It was Jesus that told Nikki to give him 20 rand at the end of it all and to tell him that she and the Lord trusts him. It was Jesus that put the light back into his heart and as he held that 20 rand bill, he told us,
“I will not open my hand until I go home, and that is where I’m going. Straight home. Right now. I don’t even want to smoke my cigarette now. God bless you”
It was Jesus that saved that man’s life.
It’s crazy to think what could’ve happened if I would’ve taken the easy way out and just gave the guy the money and let him go on his way. It’s crazy to think that a simple act of obedience can literally and completely change a man’s life. It’s crazy to see that just taking a few seconds and reminding someone that the Lord has His hand on them and that they are loved can change a situation around so quickly. That’s the power of prayer, that’s the power of love, that’s the power of Jesus.
So here’s my word to you.. no matter how much you are hurting, no matter how invisible you feel… no matter how unwanted you believe you are, how alone… You are seen by the Lord.
No matter what you’ve done or will do, no matter how far you've fallen the Lord sees you and He loves you. You don’t need to walk in shame anymore because you haven't fallen to far from Grace. The grace of God has set you free. Praise the Lord for His faithfulness. His mercies are new every morning.
Dance in this freedom, friends. Be blessed.
